Me paso leyendo cosas de cómo es vivir con ansiedad, como si no supiera exactamente cómo es vivir con ansiedad. Creo que es porque leer que no soy la única me hace sentir un poco menos sola, un poco menos loca. Me como las uñas desde que tengo dientes, me como las uñas cuando sufro y sufro por comerme las uñas. Ese es el primero de mis miles círculos viciosos. La culpa, la duda, las inseguridades, los miedos, la confusión, you name it. Después el otro 98% del tiempo soy feliz y estoy tranquila y pienso, ¿cómo puede ser que de repente y sin motivos me angustie o me vuelva loca? Puede ser, y es, pero no es de loca, es de ansiosa. Ponerle un nombre hace que sea más fácil, hace que sepa que se me va a pasar, que a veces se va sin hacer nada, que a veces se me va escribiendo, que a veces se me va durmiendo, que a veces se me va llorando, que a veces se me va con un abrazo y que a veces no quiero ni que me toquen.
Por suerte también tengo toda esta otra parte que contrasta, la parte optimista, la certeza de que todo lo que me pasa al final es para bien.

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