Cierro los ojos y el tiempo que queda entre esta vida y la nueva se diluye. Mis piernas se derriten mientras imagino que salgo del tren y camino los 200 metros que me llevan al pasado, y parada frente a mi vieja casa respiro profundo y puedo sentir el olor a pan tostado y fruta recién cortada.
Busco una piedra blanca para dejar como tantas otras veces un mensaje escrito en el escalón, pero esta vez el mensaje es para mí: ich komme zurück.
La adrenalina calienta mi sangre y siento como mi interior burbujea, lleno mi pecho de aire y siento como mi corazón se expande y mis huesos aprietan.
La incertidumbre, los miedos, deseos, la ilusión de un nuevo hogar, la orfandad, las despedidas. ¿Habrá una última vez? ¿Seré dos, tres, cuatro para siempre?

«Desechada hace ya tiempo
y provista de nada

Sólo con viento con tiempo y con sones
que entre los hombres no sé vivir

Yo con la lengua alemana
envuelta en esta nube
que tengo como casa
floto a través de todas las lenguas»


Ingeborg Bachmann (1926-1973)

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